1 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,090 I just ate a bag of cheese boodles 2 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,884 without using my hands. 3 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:12,679 Lazy Tuesday, you are delivering in a big way. 4 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,641 Yeah, it's nice to finally have a day 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:19,686 where nothing interesting happens whatsoever. 6 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:23,815 [screaming] 7 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,192 Everyone get down! 8 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,402 Don't let it taste human flesh. 9 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,073 - What is it? - Can we keep it? 10 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,158 Kill it, kill it! 11 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,165 Patience. 12 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,376 [growling, screeching] 13 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,835 Gotcha! 14 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,050 Great. Now get it outta here. 15 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,427 Smells like if death could barf. 16 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,096 Grunkle Ford, need any help with that? 17 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,682 I've read all about these creatures in your journal, 18 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,684 - and I think I-- - No! 19 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,561 I'm sorry, dipper- 20 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,271 On the dark, weird road I travel, 21 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,690 I'm afraid you cannot follow. 22 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,484 Well, call me for dinner. 23 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,782 Maybe next time then? Or not. 24 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,576 Or never. 25 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,912 Oh, Dipper, don't take it so hard. 26 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,372 No, do take it hard. 27 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,707 Take it hard and serious. 28 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,126 My brother is a dangerous know-it-all 29 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,961 and the stuff he's messing with is even worse. 30 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,714 Do yourself a favor and stay away from him, you hear me? 31 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,716 But Grunkle Stan, all summer long, 32 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,676 I've wanted to know who the author of the journal was. 33 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,303 Now the guy lives in our basement, 34 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,971 and I can't even talk to him. 35 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,098 Don't worry about what's on the basement. 36 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,559 - You belong up here with me and Mabel. - Yeah! 37 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:44,688 Besides, the season finale of Duck-tective is Friday. 38 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,149 That's all the mystery you need this week. 39 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,526 Come on, quack with us, Dipper. 40 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:50,569 Quack, quack, quack. 41 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,529 Yeah. Quack, quack, quack. 42 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,781 [both quacking] 43 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,995 [quacking continues] 44 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,372 Quack, quack, quack! 45 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,458 Why isn't he quacking? 46 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,460 S'? 47 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,875 Dear Mom and Dad, 48 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,377 we've been in Gravity Falls for a few months, 49 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,753 and so much has happened. 50 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,338 Just yesterday, gravity reversed itself, 51 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,590 almost destroyed the universe, 52 00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:56,468 and totally wrecking the whole town. 53 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,178 They say it was an earthquake, 54 00:02:58,387 --> 00:02:59,846 but you know what I think? 55 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,640 I think I'm gonna have to start serving 56 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,266 pineapple right-side up cake. 57 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,103 [laughs] Am I right? 58 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,646 Am I right? 59 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,607 Let the rebuilding of the town begin. 60 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,609 Wrecking ball, start wrecking things. 61 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,903 [laughs] 62 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,697 The coolest part of the summer 63 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,699 was Grunkle Stan's twin brother 64 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,742 came out of this portal thingy 65 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,828 Now we have two grunkles for the price of one. 66 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,664 And they are adorable together. I 67 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,290 "We love each other so much!" 68 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,084 [kissing sounds] 69 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,919 Mabel, you'll never guess what I found 70 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,045 at the store today. 71 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:33,922 Dogs. Dogs with hats! 72 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:37,551 No. It's my favorite fantasy-talking, level-counting, 73 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,470 statistics and graph-paper involving game of all time: 74 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,140 Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons! 75 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,683 You wanna play it with me? 76 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,227 Well, I do like uniforms, 77 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,062 and that hot elf looks promising. 78 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,356 - How do you play? - The rules are simple. 79 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,692 First, you roll a 38-sided die 80 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,277 to determine the level of each player's 81 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,945 statistical analysis power orb. 82 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,281 These orbs relate directly to the amount of power quadrants 83 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,158 that your tem has dominion over, 84 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,743 which is inverse to the anti-quadrants 85 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,161 in your quadrant satchel. 86 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,829 And then we ride unicorns? 87 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,622 - Yes! - [gasps] 88 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:08,707 And no. 89 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,919 First, we make a graph. 90 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,964 [groans] This is like Homework the Game. 91 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,717 Come on, Mabel. I need at least two people to play. 92 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,136 Oh, wow, would you look at that? 93 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:24,222 Two people. 94 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,392 Hey, Soos, up for a little game of D and D 95 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:28,977 Sorry, Dipper, I don't go in for 96 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,979 that pen-and-paper kinda stuff. 97 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,731 - I'm more of an FCLORP-er. - A what? 98 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,399 FCLORP. 99 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,568 Foam and Cardboard Legitimate Outdoor Role Playing. 100 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,820 It is where a passionate brethren of craftsmen 101 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,156 bring their dreams to magical reality. 102 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,575 Let yon priestess go, Elf Mage. 103 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,702 Never, Paladin Rad master. 104 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:48,497 Fireball, fireball, fireball. 105 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,957 I'm a fortress. 106 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,210 Well, thanks anyways, Soos. 107 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,213 Say, is this that game that's mostly math and writing 108 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,381 and isn't anything like the picture on the box? 109 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,218 Yes, it is! You wanna play with me, Grunkle Stan? 110 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:05,305 Ha! Look, kid, I prefer to do my dice rolling in Vegas. 111 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,307 Besides, only a game designed by nerds 112 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:10,018 would have "Charisma" as a fantasy power. 113 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,770 Check this out. 114 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,480 "When facing yon adversaries, 115 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,441 shield thyself under an elfan buttress." 116 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,610 Ha ha, say it again. 117 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,612 - Buttress. - [both laughing] 118 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,572 Hey, laugh all you want. 119 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,866 You guys just aren't smart enough to understand it. 120 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,078 Sorry, dude, but it is kinda nerdy. 121 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,580 Well, I'm off to lay siege to a goblin fortress. 122 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,249 To my grandma's backyard! 123 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:33,917 [sighs] 124 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,587 Oh, nice, you rolled a 17. 125 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,715 - [bleats] - And this is sad. 126 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,968 Maybe I should start obsessing over Wendy again. 127 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,512 - [crunching] - Hey, give it back. 128 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,306 Come on, Gompers. Let go. 129 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,684 Oh, man, my 38-sided die! 130 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,662 Dipper, stop! 131 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,080 Great-uncle Ford. 132 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,583 What did I say about coming down here? 133 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,878 My work is far too dangerous for a single living soul 134 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,297 to spend even one second-- 135 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,465 Wait. Is that a 38-sided die 136 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,968 from Dungeons, Dungeons, And More Dungeons? 137 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,554 Yeah. You know that game? 138 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,724 With pen and paper, shield and sword... 139 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,060 [both] ...our quest shall be our sweet reward! 140 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,687 [laughing] 141 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,524 This is my favorite game in the whole multi-verse. 142 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,109 I can't believe they still make it. 143 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,194 They do, and I've been looking all day 144 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,571 for someone to play with me. 145 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,991 My boy, do you know what this means? 146 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:51,578 We must stop everything I've been working on at once, 147 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,455 and DEV'-! 148 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,503 That's going to leave a mark. 149 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,548 Okay, I think we've got everything we need to watch 150 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,926 the season finale of Duck-tective tomorrow. 151 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,677 I even made mouth ramps 152 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,638 so we can pour food into our mouths 153 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,723 without taking our eyes off the screen. 154 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,934 [chewing loudly] 155 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,810 And I recreated the main character 156 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,646 out of spare taxidermy parts. 157 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,522 Quack, quack, I'm the duck detective. 158 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,358 Who stole my bread loaf? 159 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,984 [both laughing] 160 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:24,402 That is so messed up. 161 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,987 Dipper would love that. 162 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,739 Yeah, where is the little squirt anyway? 163 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,699 I haven't seen him all afternoon. 164 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,745 All right, you enter the chamber. 165 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,206 Princess Unattainabelle beckons you. 166 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,375 - But wait, it's a trap. ' [gasps] 167 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:42,671 An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying. 168 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,922 You know his weakness, right? 169 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,924 [both] Prime statistical anomalies over 37 170 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,718 but not exceeding 51. 171 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,971 Yes! In your face, 172 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,598 you cardboard wizard. 173 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,517 Hmm, the old boy looks a bit different 174 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,185 than he did back in my day. 175 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,270 Yeah, they change the art every few yea rs. 176 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,064 Thankfully, you missed the period 177 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,733 when the creators of the game tried to make it "cooler." 178 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,444 Man, this game is boring. 179 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,740 You dare challenge Probabilitizzle? 180 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:13,076 ♪ Put the cat back and roll the dice a' 181 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:16,204 ♪ Don't step to the wizard 'cause the wizard... r 182 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,331 ...updated for the nine double-deuce! 183 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,875 - Available wherever dope games are sold. - Peace! 184 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,045 [shudders] Must've been dark times, those '90s. 185 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:27,841 Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions. 186 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:31,136 Great-uncle Ford, I've been meaning to ask you. 187 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,471 Where were you before you came out of that machine, 188 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,015 and what have you been doing down here? 189 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,808 Are you working on something behind that curtain? 190 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,019 Dipper, it's best if you and the family 191 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,646 stay away from that subject. 192 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,357 Honestly, I'm not sure any of you could handle the real answer. 193 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,276 - But I could handle it. - Ah! 194 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,153 But I can show you a little something 195 00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,612 I brought back with me. 196 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,909 An infinity-sided die. 197 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,037 [Dipper gasps] 198 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,123 That's so cool... and impossible. 199 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,917 These things are outlawed in 9,000 dimensions. 200 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,087 Wanna know why? Look at those symbols. 201 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,132 Infinite sides means infinite outcomes. 202 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,718 If I rolled it, anything could happen. 203 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,636 Our faces could melt into jelly. 204 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,221 The world could turn into an egg. 205 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,557 Or you could just roll an eight. Who knows? 206 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,352 That's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case. 207 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,229 Now, back to the game. 208 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,273 You've got Probabilitor on the ropes. 209 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,237 [Dipper] Oh, man. 210 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,532 Then if I drag it here, and then a plus-three-- 211 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,618 Dipper! are YOU gonna 90 to sleep? 212 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,703 You've been saying dork words for hours. 213 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,623 Sorry, Mabel. I gotta finish this dungeon. 214 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,541 It's gonna totally stump Great-uncle Ford tomorrow. 215 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,627 I can't wait to see the look on his face. 216 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:49,714 You're, uh, spending a lot of time with old Fordsie lately, huh? 217 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,424 You have no idea. 218 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,093 I knew the author must be cool, 219 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,594 but he's better than I imagined. 220 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,596 And he doesn't make fun of me all the time, 221 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,389 the way you and Grunkle Stan do. 222 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,558 Give him time. 223 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,811 Hi-oh! 224 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,813 Ah, you got me. 225 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,733 You got me. 226 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,570 Thanks for coming over to watch tonight's 227 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,614 Duck-tective finale, Grenda. 228 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:18,284 Of course. I'm so invested in the life of these characters. 229 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,328 Hey, hey, look at you. 230 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,163 Someone's all dressed up. 231 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,581 It's a big night. 232 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,708 I think we all remember where we were 233 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,627 when we learned Duck-tective was shot. 234 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,295 [clock strikes] 235 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,714 Viewing positions, everyone! 236 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,303 Ahh! Graph paper. Kill it, kill it! 237 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:40,181 Dipper, could you maybe move this to another room? 238 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,558 No dice. 239 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,184 We ran out of room in the basement 240 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,519 and we're going for a world record. 241 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,312 Now dice! 242 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,814 Thirty-two. 243 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:51,317 - Yes! 7,000 points damage. - You got me. 244 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,278 Why with this? 245 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,196 Wanna break a record, Ford? 246 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,574 You already got it for world's nerdiest old man. 247 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,285 Hey, at least I'm not all keyed up to watch a kids' show. 248 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,370 I'll have you know that Duck-tective 249 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,998 has a big mystery element, and a lot of humor 250 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,624 that goes over kids' heads. 251 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,251 I don't get a lot of it, 252 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,211 but I like animals in human situation. 253 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,338 Grunkle Stan, it starts in a few minutes. 254 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,968 Move that and pay the price. 255 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,637 Oh, what, 50 magical dwarf dollars? 256 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,098 Don't mock our fantastical monetary system. 257 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,017 I'll mock all I want. It's my TV room. 258 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,560 It's my house! You... 259 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,688 Listen, Stanley, did it ever occur to you 260 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,608 that if you joined us, you might actually have fun? 261 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,193 What? Now you listen to me. 262 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,445 As long as I live, I will never-- 263 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,905 - Grunkle Stan, wait. - Ever. 264 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,157 - Stanley! - Play your smarty-pants nerd game. 265 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,825 No! 266 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:52,003 Mortals of Dimension 46 Apostrophe Backflash. 267 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,755 Kneel before me and... 268 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,426 Snivel. 269 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,511 I am Probabilitor, 270 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,389 the greatest wizard in all mathology, 271 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,683 give or take an error of 0.4. 272 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,310 Is this normal? 273 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,979 Have you come to send us on the quest of a lifetime, 274 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,564 because we're the smartest players you've ever met? 275 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,859 You are the smartest players I've ever met. 276 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,694 That's why I'm going to eat your brains, 277 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,154 to gain your intelligence. 278 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,447 It's what I do. 279 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,991 - It's his thing. - What?! 280 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,285 Seize them! 281 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,080 Your math is no match for my gun, you idiot. 282 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,581 Math ray! 283 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,961 I'm not here to play games. 284 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:38,174 Now to the forest for the ultimate game. 285 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:45,598 So the room's free now. 286 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,517 - Who wants to watch Duck-tective? - [squeaks] 287 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,938 Nobody? More couch for Grenda. 288 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,733 Oh, no. That crazy wizard is gonna eat 289 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,987 our brother's brain. We have to stop him. 290 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,572 Maybe let him get a couple of bites in Ford's brain first. 291 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,658 Even things out, smartness-wise. 292 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,452 - Grunkle Stan! - All right, all right. 293 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,954 I guess if we have no other choice, 294 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,998 we'll go on a... [sighs] 295 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,749 Epic wizard quest. 296 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,711 - [cheering] - Everyone grab a weapon. 297 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,924 Nice. 298 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,220 We're coming for you, Dipper. 299 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,596 And Great-uncle Ford. 300 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,056 And possibly that hot elf, 301 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,933 if he's got anything to do with this. 302 00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,772 [laughing] 303 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,608 With each brain I eat, 304 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,528 I shall increase my enchant-elligence. 305 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:41,988 If my hands were free, 306 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,198 I'd break every part of your face. 307 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,742 The time has come. 308 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,578 Hot elf, ready the brain-cooking pot. 309 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,164 Uh, yes, Probabilitor. 310 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,677 We must be getting close. 311 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,471 These fairy bites are getting more frequent. 312 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,765 Hey, look, listen. 313 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,144 Halt! You interlopers are trespassing 314 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,688 on the ancient forest of Probabilitor the wizard. 315 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,315 If ye wish to pass, 316 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:20,735 first ye must complete seven unworldly quests, 317 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,821 each more difficult than the last. 318 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,617 Is he... dead? 319 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,203 He's magic, sweetie. I'm sure he's fine. 320 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,038 There's no cops in the forest. 321 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,707 We take this to our graves. 322 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,667 [laughing] 323 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,628 - What do we do, what do we do? - Stop thinking, Dipper. 324 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,630 The more wrinkled your brain gets, 325 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,131 the more he'll wanna eat it. 326 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,717 And now, a little math problem. 327 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,720 When I subtract your brain from your skull, 328 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:51,599 add salt and divide your family, what's the remainder? 329 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,518 [Mabel] Your butt! 330 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,729 What? My butt isn't part of this particular equation. 331 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,439 [all roaring] 332 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,025 Drat! How did you make it past my one guard? 333 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,568 Very well. 334 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:06,572 There's only one way your family can save you. 335 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,200 You must defeat me 336 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,036 in Dungeons, Dungeons, And More Dungeons, 337 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,455 real life edition! 338 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,625 [maniacal laughter] 339 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,752 What? Oh, come on. 340 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,630 I choose my characters versus... 341 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,382 [gasping] 342 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,300 Yours. 343 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,344 Oh, my ears. 344 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,096 They're so pointy. 345 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,722 There better be something protective 346 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,350 under this tunic. Oh, no, there isn't. 347 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,352 Seriously? 348 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,354 Can't we just, like, arm wrestle or something? 349 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,481 Come on, this game is a lot of fun. 350 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,608 I had my mom pack me a lunch. 351 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,319 Ew, apple slices? I'll eat you last. 352 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:49,031 Just make with the rules, ugly. 353 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,117 The game is a battle royale. 354 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,577 We help our characters by casting spells 355 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,537 determined by rolls of the dice. 356 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:57,748 If you win, I go back to my own dimension. 357 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,377 But if I win, I eat their brains. 358 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:02,712 Hey, I'm not sure this is such a good-- 359 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,630 - Deal! - Oh, boy. 360 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,717 Let the game begin! 361 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:11,971 Attack! 362 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,478 What do we do? What are our moves? 363 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,646 There are no moves. You make them up. 364 00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:21,981 What? Really? 365 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,025 Yes. I tried to tell you. 366 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,612 This game involves math, but also risk and imagination. 367 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,906 - Risk! - Imagination?! 368 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,992 Grunkle Stan, make something up. It's just like lying. 369 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,870 I cast... uh... 370 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:36,871 [groans] 371 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,332 Shield of shielding. 372 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,586 Ha! We're doin' it. 373 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,797 Shield of shielding reversal spell. 374 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,011 I cast giggle time bouncy boots. 375 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,600 Hot flame-y sword. 376 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,144 Super-hot flame-y sword! 377 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,108 No! 378 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,653 Drat you. You'll never outrun my... 379 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:13,574 Ogre-nado. It is what it sounds like. 380 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:20,248 I cast Centaur-taur! Yah! 381 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,215 Mabel, I am so confused and so proud right now. 382 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,638 [cheering] 383 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,114 Ha ha ha, yes! 384 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,741 I was saving the worst for last. 385 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,243 Oh, no. 386 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,661 The impossi-beast. 387 00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,705 Hey, I thought they banned this character. 388 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,957 Think again. I'm playing the controversial 389 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,876 1991-1992 edition. 390 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,588 I'll think of some weapons. 391 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,339 You don't understand. 392 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:11,757 This is the most powerful monster in the game. 393 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:14,719 He can only be defeated by rolling a perfect 38. 394 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:15,845 But the odds of that are-- 395 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,723 Hey, long odds are what you want 396 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,474 when you're a world-class gambler. 397 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,810 All right, Stan, you can do this. 398 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,770 Papa needs a new pair of... 399 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,564 twins! 400 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,990 No!! 401 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,825 Sorry, nerd wizard. 402 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:41,579 All of your smarts are no match for dumb luck. 403 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,497 I cast Death Muffins! 404 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,256 [both] Yes! 405 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,051 Ha ha ha! 406 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,053 The game is, like, over. 407 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,846 Excelsi-whatever. 408 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,849 No! I'm returning to my own realm. 409 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,644 I'm turning into pure math. 410 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,397 What are the odds?! 411 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,318 Grunkle Stan, that was amazing. 412 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,903 How did you know that you would win? 413 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,405 Hey, a gambler never reveals his secrets. 414 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:21,702 Man, that was fun for ages eight to 80. 415 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,538 Or a million or however old you guys are. 416 00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:28,042 You know, I'm sorry for making fun of your game, kiddo. 417 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,086 Sure, it might be too nerdy for me, 418 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,921 but it's just the right amount of nerdy 419 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,673 for you and my brother. 420 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,466 And if you two wanna hang out sometimes, 421 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,717 I won't get in your way. 422 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,260 Actually, after all that, 423 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,221 I could use a little mindless fun. 424 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,641 Guys, we can watch the second showing of Duck-tective. 425 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,393 - It's not too late. - [squeaks] 426 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,902 I just don't understand who shot you. 427 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,446 The only person clever enough to defeat Duck-tective 428 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,782 is... [gasps] Duck-tective. 429 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,711 He had a twin brother all along? 430 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,088 That's the big twist we were waiting for? 431 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,297 What a rip-off. 432 00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,049 I predicted that, like, a year ago. 433 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,056 This will be here if you ever need it. 434 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:27,643 Really? Even though I got us into the whole game-playing mess? 435 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,729 Ah, we both got carried away. 436 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,524 I guess we'd both gone for a while without a friend. 437 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,026 Dipper, can I tell you something? 438 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,446 You asked me earlier 439 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,156 what I was working on. 440 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,699 Well... 441 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,076 I dismantled the portal. 442 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,412 An inter-dimensional gateway is too dangerous 443 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,913 for the world it feeds into. 444 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,750 That's why I was mad at Stan for using it. 445 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,626 He saved me, but as I feared, 446 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:55,880 the instability of the machine created this. 447 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,715 An inter-dimensional rift. 448 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,425 I've contained it for now, 449 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,343 but it's incredibly dangerous. 450 00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,429 Dipper, I don't want you to tell anyone about this. 451 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,306 Not Stan, not even your sister. 452 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,517 - Do you understand? - Oh, of course. 453 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,729 In my time, I've made many powerful enemies. 454 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,398 But I trust you with this secret. 455 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,567 Now get yourself to bed. 456 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,944 I have much research to do. 457 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,738 Good night, Great-uncle Ford. 458 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,323 Good night, dipper- 459 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,922 Guys, do you ever think maybe we're doin' this 460 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,007 'cause our lives aren't special enough? 461 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,343 That we use fantasy as an escape to avoid 462 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,636 the self-improvement we all need? 463 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,012 That maybe we should just go out 464 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,555 and grow with people? 465 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:49,558 Fortresses can't speak. 466 00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,811 I'm a fortress. 467 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,190 Does anyone wanna rescue him? 468 00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,734 - Ah, I'm tired. - I'm good. 469 00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:00,528 Long day. 470 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,238 ♪ Don't step to the wizard I 471 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:03,697 ♪ 'cause the wizard don't play nice J"